


Roman Holiday

by aeryncricton



Category: Gossip Girl
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 16:58:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15514371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeryncricton/pseuds/aeryncricton
Summary: What would have happened if Serena had not taped them and Dan took her to Italy.





	1. Past is the Prologue

Campbell Apartment, May 2012

Dan cannot keep the ridiculous smile off his smile as he buttons up his shirt. Sex with Serena was always good, but it had been so long since he felt this kind euphoria. He'd been with a few girls since her, but nothing really compared. He felt so relaxed and happy. Normally, he was left feeling bored or empty. What was it that the French called it- le petit mort? It meant a small death and there was always this strange feeling of emptiness that he felt after he came, but with Serena it was different. He felt like a giddy teenager and he wanted more.

"Don't act so surprised. We were always good together," Serena said as she looked at him with a satisfied smile on her lips.

Dan sighed and said, "We were. Weren't we?"

He finished buttoning his shirt, reached for his jacket and said, "Come on, let's go get something to eat."

"What about Blair?" She asked.

"You were right. I didn't love her and she certainly never loved me. We were a mistake."

Serena grinned at him and slipped her dress back on and turned for him to zip her up. They walked outside with Dan's hand grazing her waist. The air between them was sparkling with energy. Serena could feel the shift, but she was afraid to trust it; to trust him. It was one thing for them to have had sex, but he still chose Blair and that was not something she'd forget quickly. They walk into a diner on the upper east side and slide into a booth together. Dan waves over the waitress and orders himself a cup of coffee and a slice of cake. Serena orders a hamburger platter and he knew that she was sure to follow that with dessert. "Hungry?"Dan asked jokingly.

"I'm always hungry," Serena said as she bit her lip.

"It's amazing that you don't weight 300 pounds with the way you eat."

She looked at him with lust in her and eyes and said, "well I worked up an appetite tonight." Dan licked his lips in response and they sat there staring at each other. Dan didn't know what to say or how to express how he was feeling. How did things shift so quickly? He thought if he told himself to love Blair that it would make things easier, but it wasn't. The truth of the matter was that the reality didn't match what he had imagined. The sex was mediocre at best and she didn't understand him not the way Serena did. He didn't think anyone got him like she did. Dan knows he's hurt her, but maybe this was his chance for a fresh start; a chance to make things up to her. "I think we need to talk about um what happened earlier? Dan mumbled.

Serena looked at him and was about to say something when the waitress arrived with the food. "We'll talk, after we eat."

Dan smiled and watched her pack away more food in one sitting than most girls ate in a whole day. He loved her healthy appetite. One of the things he missed about being with her was the sheer pleasure he got from feeding her. She was a girl who appreciated a good meal. "What?"she said with a mouthful.

"Nothing."

"That's not your nothing face. Spill Humphrey!"

"I just missed this. I missed us."

That was about as much talking as they did that night. A few hours later they were stumbling into the apartment as Serena pulled the jacket from his shoulders and he fumbled with the zipper on her dress. They couldn't get enough of each other. Dan should have known that once he got a taste of her, he'd simply want more. She always had this ability to pull him in no matter how hard he tried to push her away. She was his Achilles heel; his kryptonite. Serena threw his jacket aside and stepped out of her dress as he led her to his bedroom. The small twin bed had been replaced by a larger full-sized one, but everything else remained as she remembered it. She sat on the edge of the bed as he looked down at her with desire pooling his eyes. She pulled him down to her and kissed him like she could grant his every wish with her lips.

"You're gorgeous," he whispered in between kisses. She knew that they should talk, but all she wanted to do was feel him. He had this ability to make her feel like no one else ever could. The fact that he was mooning over her bestfriend a few hours earlier was still nagging at her, but she refused to listen to that voice. He was here with her now. He wanted her.

But, for how long?

Serena didn't care. She was willing to take any part of him she could get. It may be sad and a little desperate, but she was in love with him. What she didn't realize that Dan never stopped loving her. Those walls he had erected were slowly crumbling with every caress.

One Week Later

Dan slipped out of bed and got dressed as quickly as he could. He had an errand to run. He hailed a cab and found himself at his agents door. "What are you doing here Dan?"

"I need you to do me a favor?"He asked.

"It's 8am. Are you insane?"

Dan shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at her with pleading eyes. "I know its early, but I need that extra ticket."

"You're flight is tomorrow dan. This is cutting it a little close."

"I want Serena to come with me. I need you to notify them that she'll be coming with me and to arrange a ticket for her."

Alessandra looked at him with surprise. "Serena? What happened to that uppity brunette?"

"Blair. That was a mistake. Just do this for me Alessandra,"he asked.

She shook her head and watched him walk away. The kid looked happy and that was nice to see.

Dan placed the bag full of donuts and the two coffees he bought at the café around the corner on the counter. He peeked into his bedroom to see if Serena was awake. Dan kissed her softly on the lips and watched as she stretched lazily. "Why are you already dressed?" Serena said as she wiped the sleep from her eyes.

"I had an errand to run."

She pulled him onto the bed and said, "Come back to bed. It's early." He wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her neck. "As tempting as spending another day in bed is, I bought us some breakfast."

"Bring it here."

Dan sighed and went into the kitchen and brought back the donuts and coffee. He handed her a coffee and the bag of donuts as he sat cross-legged on the bed that they'd been sharing for the past week. He smiled as she dug into the bag and pulled out a donut. "Chocolate crème! My favorite," she said with glee. He drank his coffee and simply watched her. It was moments like this that he missed. He knew that they needed to talk, but he wasn't sure what he was going to say. All he knew was that he felt like a man who had woken from a deep sleep and was seeing her for the first time. Serena could still make her feel joy like no one else could and while that was scary because losing this feeling; losing her had been the most painful thing he'd ever experienced, he had no desire to run anymore. His feet were tired.

"We should probably talk,"Dan said.

Serena looked at him and swigged a bit of her coffee and sighed. She was hoping to put this off, but she knew it was coming. The sex was great, but a little over a week ago he was in love with her bestfriend.

"I know."

"I mean we went from being friends to being more and I know how you feel, I just need to explain."

Serena leaned over and put her fingers to his lips. "Don't say it. Don't say you're story. I don't think my heart could handle it."

Dan grabbed her wrist and lowered her finger. "I'm not sorry. How could I regret us? I know I haven't treated you the way you've deserved to be treated and that we have a lot of things to talk through, but I want us to try. I want us to try again."

"But, but you're going to Rome and what about the Blair thing?"

"The Blair thing was a mistake. As for Rome, I want you to come with me. We can figure this out; figure us out while we're there."

Serena looked at him, searching his eyes for what she wasn't sure. There was nothing she'd like more than to spend the entire summer in Rome with Dan, but a part of her was afraid that he'd just break her heart again. Another chance. Isn't that what she'd wanted all along? Now, she wasn't sure. Maybe it was happening to fast. He held her hand and looked down at her with that crooked smile on his face and she knew she'd like nothing more.

"On one condition."

"Name it!"Dan said.

"Cut your hair. It's awful."


	2. Buenvenito Roma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Serena Arrive in Rome

Serena smiled as she watched Dan pack and unpack his things a thousand times. She'd been to Italy, Spain and France before. European summers were not new to her, but this trip would be different than the rest. She was spending it with the man that she loved. When she'd texted her mother about her plans to spend the summer with Dan all she'd gotten was a "that's nice dear" in response. It was typical of Lily. She cared more for her spa trips than to be bothered with her daughter's latest excursion. Normally, that would bother her, but it didn't matter anymore. Her mother was never going to change and she could either create a big scene or just move on with her life and accept her mother's flaws for what they were. There was this part of her that wished things could be different, but there was nothing she could do to change things. She smiled down at Dan who was unfolding and refolding the same shirt a half-dozen times. She grabbed his hand and took the shirt from his hand. "Let me or we'll miss our flight."

Dan cocked a brow at her and said, "I didn't know you could be so domestic."

"There's a lot you don't know," Serena said with grin as she continued to pack his clothes. She threw a pile of old t-shirts on the floor. "Hey, I like those."

"They're old and tattered. We'll buy you new ones when we get to Rome. When's the last time you went shopping Dan?"

"I hate shopping," he grumbled.

"It's a good thing you have me then," she said. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kisses the tip of her nose. She pushed him away and went back to packing his suitcase as he watched her bite her lip in concentration. This feeling of simple pleasure was something he'd forgotten. All his other relationships were fraught with tension and ennui. It took he less than ten minutes to put everything away and snap his suitcase shut. She caressed the side of his face and said, "you shaved too."

"It was time that I cleaned myself up."

Serena played with his curls and looked into his brown eyes. "You look pretty."

"Men don't look pretty," he grumbled.

Serena simply giggled and followed him out the door. It took them over an hour to get through security, but once they boarded the plane they sat back and Dan held her hand. "Thank you for coming with me. I know I have a lot to make up for. I wish there was something I could say to explain, but there isn't. I just am so grateful you are giving me the chance to show you."

"I can't say you haven't hurt me, but I love you and I want this to work," Serena said as she kissed him. Dan wanted to tell her how much he loved her, but he was afraid she wouldn't believe him so he was intent on spending the summer proving to her. In the past, he'd been all about the words, but she didn't need words. It was time for him to become a man of action. A flight attendant came by with a tray of champagne and offered them each a flute. "A toast. To our Roman adventure,"Dan said as he clinked glasses with Serena.

Hours later, a flight attendant gently nudged them awake. "It's almost time for our descent."

Serena stretched and adjusted her seat so that it was back in position. Dan was still snoring. She nibbled on his ear and he softly moaned. "Wake up, baby."

"What?" he mumbled

"The plane is about to land sleepyhead," she said as she continued to nudge him. Dan opens his eyes to see Serena's beautiful face looking down at him in amusement. He reluctantly gathers his stuff and gets ready for landing. She holds his hand as the plane descents. Serena knows that he is scared, but he won't admit his fear of flying. She rubs her thumb on his palm in an effort to keep him distracted. Once the plane lands he looks at her softly and says, "thanks."

Serena simply nods and they gather their stuff and make their way through customs and immigration. Paolo is waiting for them at arrivals. He shakes Dan's hands and hugs Serena. "Signorina, so lovely to see you again," Paolo says as he kisses her on both cheeks. "You play trick on me by using that other name."

Dan and Serena just look at each other and laugh. Paolo leads them outside and into a town car that's waiting to take them to their new apartment. "Signor Humphrey. You will be staying in the most belissimo place in Roma. I hope you enjoy your stay."

Dan smiles at the man and says, "Call me Dan."

"Si Signor."

Dan's apartment was located in Corso Vittoria which was a short walk from Piazza Navona which fascinated Dan. The building had so much history and was known for housing artistic elite. He remembered reading that this is where Frank Sinatra and his friends would come to stay. The architecture was stunning and he couldn't keep his eyes off of the outside of his new apartment building. "Are you just going to stand there?" Serena asked.

"I'm taking in the beauty of it all."

She loved the joy and awe on his face. He was like a kid in a candy store. She giggled as she pulled him into the building. Their stuff was already in the apartment. Dan was babbling something about Frank Sinatra when they made it into their apartment. "This is ridiculous. Look at this place!"

"It's beautiful. I love the red curtains and look at the kitchen Dan?"

He grabbed her hand and ran up the steps. He opened their bedroom door and was blown away by the view. Their bedroom had a small veranda where you could seat out onto the city streets. There was even a view of the Bernini fountain. "This is breathtaking"

Serena stands behind him on the veranda with her arms wrapped around his middle. "This is going to be the best summer ever. You're going to love Rome Dan."

"Have you been here before?"

"No, I've been to Italy, but never Rome," Serena said. Dan turns to face her and runs his fingers through her long blonde hair. "Good, we can experience this together."

Dan kissed her until all he could think about was the feel of her skin. He picked her up and walked back into their bedroom and placed her on the bed. They made love with the sun shining into their room. Afterwards, they lay in each other's arms. Dan made a circular pattern on her tummy as they talked about what they would do that day. "Let's nap first. Then we'll explore the city," Serena said as a yawn escaped her lips. She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. Dan watched her and kissed her temple. "I love you," he said softly. What he didn't know was that she heard his little proclamation.

When Serena opened her eyes it was dark outside and Dan was still sleeping. She slipped out of bed and pulled on the top she'd been wearing earlier. She opened her suitcase and took out her robe and slipped it on over her shirt. She tiptoed out of the room so as not to wake Dan and went downstairs. She opened the fridge hoping that they'd stocked it and was glad to find it well stocked. She took out a Pelligrino and stood by the window. Serena needed time to think. The past six months were hard. She'd accepted that Dan had chosen Blair over her even if it pained her to try and move on, but she never could. She kept hoping he'd wake up and see the truth. Now that he'd finally done so, she wasn't sure what to make of it. His proclaimation of love was not something he thought she'd heard, but could she trust it? It seemed so sincere, but so much had happened and now that she was in Rome with him she was beginning to wonder if she'd made the right decision.

Serena turned when she heard his footsteps coming down the stairs. He rubbed sleep from his eyes and said, "What time is it?"

"I don't know it's dark."

"Come back to bed baby."

She smiled up at him and said, "I'll be up in a minute." There was sadness to her expression that startled him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and said, "Talk to me."

"It's nothing. I'm fine," Serena responded, but Dan knew better. He knew the look on her face. "You heard me."

She nodded her head. "Now, you're wondering if you made the right decision coming with me."

Serena nodded again. "How can you say you love me when you chose her."

"I didn't choose her. I chose fear,"Dan said. "The reason I couldn't answer you after your confession was simple fear. We'd come so close so many times and everytime you slipped through my finger. First it was our parents, then it was Nate, then it was Ben. I know I should have fought for you. But, I was hurt and scared and thought if I could just make myself not love you it would be easier."

Serena ducked her head. She understood that kind of fear better than anyone else. Running was what she did best. "You know I was scared too. That's why I made Nate into a bigger deal than he was Ben. That was just a mistake. I felt guilty for what had happened to him and I guess a part of me was testing to you."

"And I failed,"he said softly.

Serena brushed her hand across his face. "No, you didn't. You were still there for me in your own way. We've both fucked this up haven't we?"

Dan placed his forehead on hers and said, "I never stopped loving you."

"Neither did I," Serena responded with a sweet kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not really a quick fix to the mistakes of the past, but Serena is the most forgiving person on the show; if anyone understands running from love and messing up its Serena Van Der Woodsen. Dan may be a man of words, but when it comes to his S he's also a man of action. So, buckle up and hang on tight folks.


	3. Belief

The sun was streaming through the window when she opened her eyes. She stretched and smiled over at Dan as he lay sleeping. He may be dead to the world, but his cock wasn't. It was alert and ready for action. Serena smiled to herself and turned to face him. She lowered hand and ran her it along his shaft as she watched his face. His lips parted and his eyes flew open. Dan placed his own hand over hers and helped her with the hand job that she'd chosen to woken him with. This sort of reckless sexual play was something he had missed. The feel of her soft feminine hands on his dick made him even harder. He moved so that his hands slipped between her folds in search of her clit. He was determined to drive her as crazy as she was driving him. They watched each other with mutual lust as they got each other and off and within minutes they were breathing heavily and ready for round two. Dan couldn't have enough of her and Serena was so happy to finally be in his arms again. He still had that niggling fear in the back of his head that this summer wouldn't be enough, that he'd done too much for her to truly forgive him, but he was determined to prove to her that he loved her. They had promised each other that the next time they'd jumped in it would be for the last time, but in his mind there was no last time. He'd fight for them now. It was something he wished he'd done a year earlier and was determined to do now. Come hell or high water, she was he refused to let her slip through his fingers again.

Serena ran her hands through his curls and said, "Tell me what you're thinking?"

"I was just thinking about you," he said as he ran his hand along her cheek.

"Tell me more," she said as she smiled. "I was thinking we could do some exploring," he said as his finger trailed a path to her collarbone and she shivered when he traced a pattern in the valley between her breasts.

"What kind of exploration."

"Well, I've read all about what Rome has to offer," he said he cupped her ass. "But, there's nothing like experiencing it first-hand. We could go right to the core,"he said as his fingers slid between her folds "of the city."

Serena threw her head back on the pillow as Dan continued his ministrations. She fisted her hands in his hair as he did things with his tongue that drove him over the edge. She had a feeling that he was determined to keep her in bed, but as much as she loved what he could do to her, Serena wanted to go out and experience Rome with him.

"We should probably go out. You have to start the workshop in two days and there is so much for you to see."

"We have all summer,"he said as he caressed her arm.

"At this rate, we'll never leave this room."

Dan smirked and said, "I could live with that."

Dan and Serena grabbed a late breakfast at an outdoor café facing on of the four fountains that the Piazza de Novano was famous for. Serena was working her way through her third pastry as Dan sipped on his cappacino. He watched her and smiled. This was the life. It was a beautiful summer day and the light was shining on them and her hair was so golden that it was almost like an angel had been placed in front of him. "So, where do you want to start?"

"I'm at your mercy signorina"

"Signor Humphrey, we have a busy day ahead of us. I thought we'd start by renting a vespa. There is no way we can cover everything you need to see on foot. There are a few places that you just have to see," Serena said with glee. They paid their bill and hailed a cab which took them to a small dealership that was selling and renting vespas. Dan watched her face light up as she went from vespa to vespa. They saw one that was a deadringer for the one she'd mistaken as his on their first date. Dan spoke to the salesman in his broken Italian and bought the thing.

"I can't believe you bought it."

"What's the point of having money if I can't spend it on something beautiful,"he said. He motioned for her to hop on. "Lead the way Signorina."

Serena hopped on and Dan slid in behind her, holding on to her waist as they glided through the city streets. She took him to the top of a hill. They got off the bike and looked down at the city. They were on Palatine Hill, one of the seven hills in Rome and the spot where Rome was supposedly founded. They were just up the hill from the Coliseum and the Roman forum. "This is my favorite spot. I love how you can look down at the entire city. It's like time has stood still."

Dan looked at her and pulled her to him. "You know you're amazing right?"

She smiled and laid her head on his shoulder.

They stood there watching the city for what seemed like forever before they decided to hop back on the bike and head to the forum. They walked up the steps and inside. It was like they were experiencing history and Dan knew in that moment that he had an idea for his next novel. A period piece: a senator and his lady love, niece of a roman tribute. Serena watched him as his eyes bugged out and he took in his surroundings. She could tell that an idea was forming in his head and he wondered what he was conjuring. "Tell me?"

"What?"

"Your story idea. I can tell. You have that look on your face."

He smiled. "You know me so well."

"I was thinking of writing a story set in the past. I've never written a period piece before."

"Is it a love story? You need to have a romance. No story is complete without one."

"There is," he said before putting on his helmet and getting on the bike. Serena got on and led them to the Coliseum where they sat on the steps and imagined what it would be like to witness a traditional gladiator fight. "You'd be a great gladiator, Dan."

"Me? Nah, I prefer to spar with words not lions."

Serena smiled and laid her head on his shoulder. "You ready to go home. I'm tired."

"It's only 2 in the afternoon Serena."

"I know. It's probably the jetlag."

He kissed her softly and said, "Lead the way."

Dan and Serena spent the next two days in bed with a few quick trips into the square to people watch and sip on their cappuccinos. Time for Dan to head off to his first workshop had arrived earlier than they expected. Serena decided that she'd try and find a job teaching English while Dan spent his days working on honing his writing skills. Serena spent the day googling local job sites to see if she could find a teaching position. She found three ads that looked interesting and set off to see if they would be interested in hiring her. The first place was just down the road and she excitedly climbed the three flights of stairs. She sat facing an older Italian woman with a somber expression on her face.

"Signorigna Van Der Woodsen?"

"Hi, that's me,"Serena said excitedly.

The woman scowled at her and took her resume.

"I see that you have not completed a degree. What is your qualification?"

"I'm really good with people, I love literature and I've been speaking English all my life!"

The woman looked at her from head to toe. "I'm sorry. You are not appropriate."

Serena's face fell and she walked out of the interview feeling more than a little disappointment. The other places weren't much better. She had no degree, no TEFL certification. She was naïve to think she could just get a job like that. It was different in New York where people knew who she was, but she was willing to do whatever she needed to prove herself.

Meanwhile Dan was having an even harder time at his writing workshop. He came in expecting to be treated warmly instead people were scowling at him. He sat down next to a lanky European with what seemed to be a German accent.

"Did I do something?" Dan whispered.

"You're published, it is mere jealousy my friend. I'm Gustav by the way."

Once the facilitator walked in he noticed that other than Gustav and a pretty red-head everyone else was still trying to get published. He relaxed a little and hoped that the tension he was feeling was simply jealousy. They were all asked to take two hours writing a three page short story which would be read-aloud and critiqued after lunch. Dan spent his lunch hour with Gustav who seemed to be a really cool guy. There was something about him that reminded him of nate. He had sandy blond hair and was very laid back. They talked about their work and Dan promised to read his book and give him feedback. "You've quite the reputation. Youngest published author in more than decade. That's something to envy. Beware of the vipers."

"Vipers?"

"What do you Americans call it? Snakes."

"Ahh. I just never really thought about it like that."

After lunch, Dan was the first to read his story. He had written an abbreviated version of his roman story.

"Sophia and Donatello? Haven't you told this story before?"a whispy brunette asked.

"It's like you keep recycling the same story. It's a bit unoriginal,"said a man with a british accent.

The criticism continued in rapid fire and Dan could feel his anxiety rising. He always believed he was the best at what he did and was unused to criticism that was this cruel, this biting. He was used to being the one criticizing the works of others. By the time the day was done, Dan was exhausted and felt like he'd been hung out to dry. His insecurity was at an all-time low and all he wanted to do was crawl into bed and make love to Serena till the sun came up. She was what he needed when he was feeling at his lowest. Dan put the key in the lock and he saw the sad look in her eyes and ran to her side. "Is everything okay? What happened?"he said as he pushed the hair from her face.

"I just, I couldn't find a job and I don't think I will. I don't have the qualifications."

Dan wrapped her up in his arms and said, "You'll figure something out. Looks like we've both had a pretty awful day."

"Why was your day bad?"

"They hate my writing and think I'm an unimaginative novice who's just been lucky," Dan said as he shrugged. Serena caressed his face and said, "they don't know what they are talking about. You're brilliant."

Dan ducked his head. Her confidence in him was worth its weight in gold. He look at her and more than anything else he just wanted to scream how much she meant. What a fool he'd been. What was he thinking trying to be with Blair; believing that he could ever want her? This girl was it. She was everything. Even when he was angry and bitter towards her, he still loved her. He just hated himself for his inability to stop loving her.

I love you

"Let's go out,"Dan said.

Serena smiled and ran upstairs to get ready for dinner. She had taken a little longer than usual getting ready, but Dan was waiting downstairs. He was reading a tattered copy of Catcher in the Rye. He put the book down and smiled up at her as she descended the stairs. Serena was dressed in a black mini-skirt and sequined gold tank top. She wore her hair down. She could be dressed in a pair of shorts and his shirt and she'd look beautiful. He reached out his hand, "Signorigna."

Serena laughed and they chatted as they explored Rome at night. They were wandering through a neighboring side street when they found a small trattoria that smelled so divine that they couldn't resist. They were greeted by a woman in her 50s. She had salt and pepper hair and was nearly as tall as Serena. She greeted them with a smile and said, "table for two?"

"Si, Signora,"Serena said. The woman started to pour out a lot of Italian that Serena struggled to keep up with, but Dan was surprised at exactly how good her Italian was.

"You didn't tell me you spoke Italian?"Dan said.

"I speak a little. It's much more fun than French."

Dan shook his head. Serena was constantly surprising him. They ordered two salads, two pasta, a basket of bread, and plate of Italian sausages and still had room for dessert. The woman who had seated them came in and said, "You two eat like my Giovanni."

"We love food," Serena said excitedly.

The couple smiled at them thoughtfully. Dan and Serena enjoyed their meal and wine, but were later joined by the woman, her husband and their teenage daughter. The daughter could not speak much English. She knew a few key words and phrases, but between Dan and Serena's limited Italian and her limited English they got by. They told them why they were in Rome and how long they planned to stay. The woman whose name was Maria insisted that they come by again. By the night's end, they had a standing invitation for dinner with the Narducci's. After they left the restaurant, they found themselves in a cozy little café where they ordered another bottle of wine. By the time, they headed home they were both so drunk that they could barely walk in a straight line. Serena had taken off her shoes and was walking along the edge of the fountain de Bernini. Dan watched her in awe as she jumped into the fountain and splashed around like a giddy little kid. "Come on. Don't be a stick in the mud Dan,"She said.

He shook his head.

"Please! Pretty please with me on top."

Dan couldn't resist a wet and sexy Serena so he jumped in and he kissed her until a policeman forced them to go home. They were barely in the door before Dan pulled her skirt down. He pushed off his pants and pulled down her underwear. Within minutes he had her pressed against the front door with her legs wrapped around his waist as he thrust into her. She met him rhythm for rhythm. They both still had their shirts on and it took a few minutes before they were both coming apart. "I'm never going to stop wanting you,"he whispered.

"You can say it,"she said.

"I don't want to just say it. I need you to believe me."

Serena held his face in her hands. "I believe you."


	4. Back to Us

Serena woke at the crack of dawn and made her way downstairs. She rummaged the fridge for something to eat, but all she found was a little bit of orange and an apple. She poured herself a glass and hopped onto the counter top and started eating her apple. Serena looked up when she heard Dan's footsteps. He approached her slowly never taking his eyes off of her. Dan loved to watch her. Whether she was dressed up or in nothing but a simple robe, she was always beautiful. He walked over to her and placed his hand on her thigh.

Serena offered him a bite of her apple and he shook his head. "Not hungry? I'm starving."

"No, I'm hungry," he said as he ran his hand along her thigh just underneath the silk of her robe. "Just not for food."

Serena giggled. It had been so long since she'd been with Dan that she'd forgotten how insatiable his sexual appetite could be. "Don't you ever get tired."

Dan chuckled. "Of you. Never."

He pulled on the tie that held her filmsy robe together. He pushed it apart to reveal her creamy white breasts and taut stomach. Her perfect legs and that pussy that kept him coming back for more. His other relationships weren't like this. The sex was good or mediocre, but it wasn't something he couldn't have enough of. But, with Serena it was different. It wasn't about the sex, it was that unspeakable connection. His body and mind were preoccupied with her. That faithful night weeks earlier had opened his heart when he'd thought he'd caged it away. His desire to protect her, be with her, worship her. She drove him to the edges of madness and was his solace in moments of sadness and doubt.

"You're doing that thing again,"Serena said between bites of her apple.

"What thing?"

"You're watching me like you're writing my life story and that can be a little scary."

"I can't help it. You're amazing."

"Where was this Dan last year?" Serena asked with more than a hint of sarcasm. She loved the attention he lavished on her, but a part of her couldn't help but it was the daze of lust and would soon wear off and she'd wake up as sad and lonely as she'd been all year. She wanted to trust him. His eyes didn't lie. She could see the love that was there, but it felt so strange. Like he turned on a switch and suddenly he was her Dan again.

Dan watched her and observed the flash of pain on her face. He removed his hand from her thigh and placed it on her cheek. "I hate how I hurt you."

"I'm sorry. I, I don't mean to make you feel guilty but sometimes this feels like deja vu. I keep thinking I'll wake up in bed and the last three weeks have been nothing but a beautiful dream."

"Sometimes I wonder how different things would be if I had fought for you when you were with Ben instead of allowing myself to become infatuated with Blair."

"Why didn't you?"

"I don't know. I was just so hurt and I just thought I was kidding myself. I had convinced myself that you didn't really love me and by the time you said something at Blair's wedding, I'd already convinced myself that I wanted her. But, really I was so afraid. Afraid you'd just change your mind again."

Serena pulled Dan closer. "I'm never changing my mind. I never did. I just got scared. Promise me something?"

"Anything."

"Next time I hurt you. Tell me. Scream at me. But, don't walk away,"Serena pleaded.

"I will. But, promise me the same. This thing, getting us back. It's not going to be easy is it?"Dan asked. Serena nodded in response. He didn't care how hard it was, but he was damned if he'd let her slip through his fingers ever again.

Dan scooped Serena up and carried her up the stairs and dumped her unceremoniously on the bed. He pulled off his boxers can climbed into bed with her. They made love with the moonlight casting a shadow over them.

Serena had taken to visiting the Narducci's on a regular basis. She tried using her limited Italian while they practiced their broken English. Their daughter was a breath of fresh air. One afternoon, she'd taken her shopping where they practiced how to say certain words.

"This is Signorina?"the young girl asked

"A purse."

"Puurse."

"No, Purse,"Serena repeated until Maria got it just right. She really enjoyed helping her learn the language and while she may not have the credentials spending time with Maria and her parents helped fill her days while Dan was at his writing workshop. He hadn't spoken of it since that day when they tore into him, but knowing how he could be, Dan was determined to prove them wrong.

"Signorian you bellisimo teacher,"Maria told her. Serena smiled at the girl and held out her hand to her as they went into the next shop.

Meanwhile Dan was keeping his work to himself. He had no desire to be exposed to a group of jealous yet to be published writers. He still wasn't sure about Sven, but he seemed to be the one not acting like a complete jerk. So, Dan wrote these half-hearted pieces while he secretly worked away on the book he was actually writing. It was the idea he had come up with his first day in Rome with Serena. He had found a few English books on the history of Rome in an old bookstore a few minutes from his apartment. His nights were spent pouring over them, taking in every little detail. His original story conception had evolved from what it had originally been, but instead he decided to write a story about young american who came to Rome to teach only to fall for a beautiful Italian woman. Whatever the story, he knew he couldn't escape the fact that he had found his muse again and he owed that to Serena. He knew she was feeling restless and bored, but coming home to her every evening was what he looked forward to each day.

When he arrived that evening Dan, found her wearing nothing but an apron as she stirred what smelled like pasta sauce. She wore a pair of high heels and the apron did nothing to cover her bare backside. "Interesting outfit,"Dan said as he placed his briefcase on the table.

"I wanted to surprise you," Serena said.

"With the fact that you're cooking or cooking naked?"

"Both."

Dan walked over to where she was standing and peered into the pot. Serena held the wooden spoon up to his lips as he took a taste. "Hmm, this is actually pretty good."

"You were expecting it to be bad,"Serena said with a frown. Dan laughed and said, "Well, the last time you tried to make something you burnt eggs and toast."

Serena laughed, "true, but the Narducci's have been teaching me how to cook in exchange for English lessons."

"Well, they're doing an excellent job. That sauce is amazing."

Dan turned the burner off and said, "But not as good as you." He fell to his knees and kissed his way up her leg until he reached her cunt and rubbed her inner lips with tongue. Serena dropped the spoon that she held in her hand as Dan used his tongue to drive her to brink and back again. She pulled on his brown curls as he illicited an orgasm so strong from her that she could barely stand. Dan stood up and turned Serena so she was holding on to the edge of the counter top. He undid his pants and let them fall to the floor as Serena readied herself for him. He held her by the his and entered in one swift motion. Serena followed the pace that Dan set. Her hips met him thrust for thrust. Her breasts pressed against the cold tile of the counter as Dan fucked her senseless. He pulled on her hair so that her face met his in a passionate kiss. She loved their sweet nights, but she also loved when he got a little rough and insistent. It wasn't until they'd both come that they realized what they'd forgotten.

"Oh crap,"Dan said.

"We're usually more careful. It's okay. I'm sure there is some sort of clinic where I can get the morning after pill,"Serena said.

"What if you didn't?"Dan asked. He knew it was crazy, but if they were meant to be parents what was so wrong with it.

"Dan, I don't think we're ready for that. We just got back together."

"I know, but have you ever thought about it?"He asked.

"About what? Having kids? Yes, but I want to be married and settled. I don't want to just have kid when I'm too young in case."

"We end up like our parents."

"The thought was sweet. i'll go to the clinic tomorrow. You can come with me if you want."

"I do,"Dan replied.


	5. What Now?

Dan and Serena spent a good two hours that morning trying to find a clinic that would administer the morning after pill. They'd been turned away by two hospitals and three clinics. They probably should have expected better since the Vatican was within the city limits. Stopping pregnancy was a no-no with the men in the white robes.

"I can't believe its been this difficult to find a palce to administer a damn pill."

"Actually, it's three and you're going to have to stick around for the after affects,"Serena said matter-of-factly. Dan looked at her with horror while Serena laughed at him. "It's not that bad, relax."

"What do you mean after effects? Does it make you sick? Isn't that counterproductive?"

Serena patted his hand and said, "You ave so much to learn. You're rather ignorant for a guy as, um.."

"Whorish?"Dan said bluntly. "You can say it. I've been a man whore or a lot closer to one than I'd like to admit or ever thought I'd be."

Serena attempted to supress a giggle despite Dan's desire to be serious. He was far too hard on himself. She hated the idea of him being with other women, but its not like Dan was the only person she'd ever slept with. "I didn't mean it like that. God knows, I'm the last person to judge anyone's sexual habits. I just find your squeamishness funny."

"I'm not squeamish,"he said as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Serena lean into him and laid her head on his chest. "Whatever you say babe"

The doctor called them in and Dan fidgeted as Serena got undressed and into a hospital gown. She sat on the examination table and looked down at him with a bright smile on her face. Dan walked over to her and held her hands in his. His eyes said I love you and I'm here. He sat on a chair as the doctor did a quick examination. The doctor was a woman in her mid to late forties. She asked a series of rudimentary questions such as how sexual active she was, if she'd been on the pill and how often she had unprotected sex. It was when they got to the last question that they'd realized they probably should have made this trip earlier.

"I'm going to have to do a pregnancy test before administering the test?"

"But, I'm here to avoid pregnancy."

"Your last unprotected sexual incounter was over six weeks ago. You could already be pregnant and taking the pill would endganger the fetus. We're required by law to administer the test Signorina,"the doctor said.

Dan and Serena looked at each other nervously. They'd spoken about what to do if she were pregnant and Serena was admant it was too soon for them to have a baby. They'd barely been back together a month. Dan didn't care. He was ready for it all, but he understood Serena's point. It was all so soon. They were quiet all the way home. Dan made them each a cup of tea as Serena stood staring out the window. In a little over 5 hours she would discover if she was pregnant with Dan's baby. She'd always wanted to have his child, but not like this. She wanted to be sure of him; to be sure of them. This was all too soon. She knew Dan would love her and the baby, but she was afraid that he would grow to resent her and eventually that this kid would tear them apart. She still wasn't sure if this time would last. She needed time and not just for him, but for herself.

Dan came up behind her and encircled her with his arms. "Tell me what you are thinking?"

"I'm not sure I'm ready for this. For motherhood."

He laid his chin on her shoulder and said, "You will be an amazing mother whether it happens today or ten years from now"

Serena closed her eyes and leaned into his embrace. There were so many thoughts drifting through her head.

Was she already pregnant? What would she do if she was? Could this baby break them or make them?

She knew she had the means to care for a child; they both did. It just was too soon for them to bring a child into the world. They still had so much to work through, but the thought of having his baby put a smile on her face.

"You'd be an amazing father,"Serena said quietly. "But, I'm not sure we're ready for this."

Dan simply nodded and held her tight.

Waiting for news that would change their lives forever was agony. Dan tried working on his writing while Serena flipped through magazine after magazine. After a few hours, they gave up and just sat beside one another. Dan held her hand while Serena nervously tapped her foot on the floor.

"Are you going to be doing that all day?"Dan asked sharply.

"What!"

"It's annoying,"he said matterfactly. SErena glared back at him. "Sorry,"he said. "It's just nerves."

"Well, how do you think I feel?"she said as she pulled her hand away. Serena was exasperated and taking out her anger on Dan. She knew it wasn't his fault. That night was something they both wanted. Their carelessness was something that was both of their responsibilities, but Serena just needed to lash out someone; anyone. Dan sat with his hands in his lap. He wanted to reach for her, but he knew she needed to vent, to work through her anger.

"I feel like all I do is say I'm sorry lately,"he said just above a whisper. Serena got up from the couch and went up the stairs. She didn't want to feel guilty. The distance between them was killing her, but she was upset. She kicked off her shoes and climb into bed. The loneliness of the large bed immediately struck her. Serena had gotten so used to having him there beside her. Things had gotten complicated so quickly. This trip was supposed to be magical, but Dan was right, he'd spent far too much of their time together apologizing. She heard his footsteps and could feel the bed shift when he sat down on it. Serena closed her eyes as he moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her middle. "I hate when we fight,"he said.

"I hate it too."

Dan moved her hair out of the way and kissed the spot between her shoulder and neck. "No matter what happens jus know that I love you and I'll be here."

They both nodded off and were woken by the sound of the phone ringing. Serena jumped out of bed and picked the phone up in a hurry. Dan watched her and tried to make out what was going on. Her mood was indecipherable and it was killing him.

"Well? What did the doctor say?"

Serena walked over to him and said, "Do you want a boy or girl?"

"Are you serious? Why are you so happy, I thought you said the timing was all wrong?"

"Don't get me wrong I'm still scared this could all go to hell. But, it just feels right and when the doctor told me that I was pregnant it just felt like this was all fate."

Dan shook his head and kissed her till he felt like he couldn't breathe. "You area mystery wrapped in a ball of sunshine."

"ball of sunshine? You couldn't do better than that?"Serena quipped.

"I'm obviously getting rusty. We're going to be parents! I have to call Jenny."

"I have to call...B, I' mean Eric,"Serena said. Dan caught the slip up and hung his head. He knew how much that girl meant to her and he felt responsible for the fact that they were no longer friends. As awkward as it might be, he knew he had to fix things between them.


	6. Breaking News

Serena understood that Dan was a little confused by her change in mood. She'd spent hours mulling over the reality of being a mother, but what she couldn't let go of that little part of her that was so happy to be doing this with Dan. They were going to have a child. Someone that was a part of the two of them. Despite the mistakes and all the pain, she knew he loved her and no one would ever compare to her Dan. In those moments when the doctor told her she was about 7 weeks along, she knew that it was a sign. The night that had brought them together had also given them a child. It was a miracle. Serena knew herself well enough to know that she could never abort any child of hers, especially one that she had with Dan. He was the love of her life and they were going to have a baby. It was scary because a part of her feared she'd turn into her mother. But, with Dan by her side, she just knew that would never happen. She'd dote on this child in ways that she and Eric were never doted on. In the two days since they'd discovered the news, Dan waited on her hand and foot. It was cute, but exhausting. They had both told their siblings and both of them were arriving on a flight from London this afternoon. Eric was spending the summer in London with Jenny. They were together when Dan and Serena had delivered the news. Serena could here the young girl screams as her brother told her not only was he back with Serena, but that they were having a baby. It was nice that their siblings were so happy about the news, but a part of her hated that she couldn't tell the person that had been there for all the highs and lows in her life. She wanted to tell Blair, but she worried that she'd see it as a betrayal and somehow make this joyous news all about how Dan had cheated on Blair with Serena. She loved her friend, but she had a habit of making things about her when it had so little to do with her. As much as Serena wanted to feel guilty for what she'd done, she didn't. Blair had pursued Dan knowing how she felt and knowing she didn't really love him and for that Serena wasn't sure she could forgive her. Some might see that as unfair since she'd forgiven Dan for how he had hurt her, but he was hiding out and running from her much like she'd run from him in the past. It was just all so muddled. Years of pain and hurt lay between Blair and herself. A lot of that pain, Serena had buried in the name of their friendship, but she wasn't sure how she could get back what they once had.

Serena touched her belly and focused on the future and if that meant no Auntie Blair for this little one then so be it. She stared at herself in the mirror looking for some change. Did she glow? Was there a tell-tale give away? She hadn't gone through any of the usual signs of pregnancy atleast not yet, but the doctor said that was due to how early on in the pregnancy it was. Dan came up behind her. "What are you looking for? If it's a flaw I'm afraid you're not going to find one,"he muttered as he kissed along her neck.

"Stop being so cheesy."

"I can't help it,"he said as he held her closer. "You bring out my corny side. How are you feeling? Any nausea. You really should keep off your feet."

"I'm pregnant not an invalid. Plus the doctor said that some women don't have morning sickness."

"I just want to take care of you. Is that so wrong?"Dan said as he ran circles across her stomache.

"No, there's nothing wrong with that, but I think you need to relax and let's just enjoy this. Don't you have a writing excercise to complete for your workshop. We're here for a reason and I'll be damned if we're the reason that you can't complete your second novel."

"Task Master Serena. I think I like her more than Sexy Sunshine Barbie."

Serena raised her eyebrow in mock disgust, but she ended up breaking out in giggles because Dan decided to hoist her up and put her over his shoulder. "What are you doing?"Serena shreaked.

Dan didn't respond instead he carried her down the stairs and outside before putting her down. He patted the vespa and said hop on. Serena looked up at him with confusion. "Where are we going?"

He handed her a helmet and said, "Put this on and hang on tight."

Serena smiled at him and did as he asked. She enjoyed the feel of the wind in her hair as they travelled on the highway leading out of town. They passed small towns encased in old building and greenery that would make any New Yorker feel out of place. A little over two hours later they'd finally arrived on a beach in Ostia. There was sand for miles and the cliffs were breathtaking.

"This is gorgeous, but Eric and Jenny will be here soon and I don't want to miss them."

"You won't." Jenny was dressed in black jeans and flowy white top and had Eric trailing her.

Serena looked from Dan to Jenny to her brother who had his hands shoved in his pocket. "What is this? What's going on?"

Dan dropped to his knees and held Serena's hand. "Serena Celi Van Der Woodsen. I've been in love with you since as long as I could remember."

"You were thirteen even though you like to tell people you were fourteen."

"Jen stop interrupting me."

"Sorry, continue big brother."

Serena laughed as tears travelled down her face. She knew what he was doing, but she was so overcome with emotion.

"Like I said, I've loved you since forever and I want nothing more than to continue to do that. I know that I've made mistakes, heartbreaking mistakes, but I love you and what I'm trying to say is..or ask is.. will you marry me?"

Serena wiped the tears from her face and said, "Oh Dan. This is so beautiful and its perfect, but I, I can't." She touched his cheek and started running down the beach. Dan fell to the floor in shock and despair.

"Oh God, here we go again. I'll go talk to her,"Eric said. Jenny plopped herself down beside Dan.

"I told you it was too soon."

"But, we're having a baby and I just I want to marry her, I always have."

"I know. You started that stupid site for her. But, Dan sometimes you gotta think a little smaller, stop aiming so big."

Dan played with the sand and looked up at his sister. She was all grown up and while she'd shed some of her goth ways, she still wore black eyeliner and had platinum blonde hair. He always respected her dairing.

"Have I lost her?"

Jenny held out a hand for her brother and said, "Haven't you learnt yet. You'll never lose her. If she still can love you after all the shit you've pulled, then she'll never stop. Just give her time. The girl just found out she's pregnant and here you are popping the quesiton when three months ago she thought you were lost to her forever."

Meanwhile Eric was standing on the beach as Serena sat on the sand with her arms wrapped around her legs looking out at the water. He took a seat beside her and smiled at her. "You know Serena you're kind of like that ocean out there. One minute your calm and the next the tide turns and you're swept up in the current, never knowing what will happen next."

"So, I'm unpredictable."

"You're just you. Now care to tell me what that was all about?"

"It's just all so soon. One minute we're about to be parents then he's proposing. I just I don't want him to marry me because he feels like he has to."

"Oh Serena! You still haven't figured it out. That boy has been crazy about you forever."

She looked at him and shook her head. "I know he loves me, but I can't undo the last year. It's still there in the back of mind."

"I know, but just cause he was with Blair doesn't mean you didn't make your fair share of mistakes. If you keep holding on to your anger, you're gonna miss out and I've seen you two together. I've never seen you happier than you are when you are with him. He's not marrying cause of the baby. He's been planning this for weeks."

Eric left her to think and he knew that once she had time to think things over and mull. Then she'd do what was right. For all her impetuousness, when it came to things that really mattered, she took her time. Serena sat there looking out at the ocean and beauty of the roman ruins and while she appreciated Dan's sentiment, she still felt it wasn't the right time. She wanted to marry him more than anything, but she wasn't ready to become a wife and a mother all in an instant. Serena felt like a part of her was drifting away and she needed to figure out who she was separate from being the beautiful girl who Dan Humphrey loved.

The sun was beginning to set when Dan came to sit down by her side. "It's almost sundown. You gonna stay here forever."

"Have I been sitting here that long?"

"Yeah, you looked like you wanted to be alone. I brought you back some food."

Serena looked through the bag which had a container of pasta primevera and a salad. Dan sat back and watched the sunset as Serena ate. He was thinking maybe Jenny was right. Maybe he needed to think a little less big.

"So, about that botched proposal...maybe it was a bad idea. I mean we still have a lot to figure out and we haven't been together that long."

"It's not a no."

"Just a not-right now?"Dan asked with pleading in his eyes. Serena nodded her head.

"It's not you. I just have so much to think about. What kind of mom am I going to be? Who am I really? I still haven't figured out who I'm meant to be. I need to know that before I'm ready to get married."

Dan reached for her hand, "I understand. Whatever you decide just remember I'll always love you and you're going to be a great mom.


	7. Chapter 7

The summer was drawing to an end and Serena was more than a little nervous to head back to the city. She knew that once she got back that eventually she'd begin to show. She was approaching the end of her third month and she wasn't showing yet. The doctor said that most women started to show in their fourth month. Serena was happy about the baby, but she wasn't ready to face her mother or Blair. She just knew her bestfriend was bound to have a super dramatic reaction to the news.

Dan on the other hand was happy to be living Italy. Their time here had been idyllic, but his writing group was getting on his last nerve and a big part of that was jealousy. He'd been so worried that his next novel would be crap, but after everything that had transpired, it was proving to be some of his strongest work. His editor was crazy about the proposal he'd sent in last month and he was nearly done with his first five chapters. Like his last novel, this one was autobiographical, but it was more revealing than anyone would expect. It was about a young boy from the Bronx (his idea of keeping things less obvious) who was willing to do anything for love. Instead of a website, he had his main character, manipulating those who were rivals for the girls affection. The character catagalogued his activities in a journal that he kept to himself. When the character was close to losing the girl because she discovered what he'd been up to, he decided to publish the journal so that she'd understand that this was all for her. Dan wanted nothing more than to tell her about the site. He even had the thing on hiatus while they were in Italy, but he wasn't sure Serena would understand. Could she forgive him? What would this mean for their child. He knew she was worried about seeing Blair again, but he wasn't. What they had was never real and frankly, Serena didn't owe her any explainations.

The night before their flight back home, they lay in bed. Dan ran circles across her back. He could feel the tension and agitation oozing from her. "Don't do that. Stop worrying. It's not good for you."

"I'm not that fragile, Dan."

"I'm not saying that you are, but you're letting all the anxiety about your mom and Blair get to you. It's your life; your decision. This baby has nothing to do with them. It's about us. Look, I know my dad is going to freak the hell out, but I really don't care. I've had enough of him ruining my life."

"ruining your life? That's a tad dramatic don't you think?"

Dan sighed. He didn't like talking about their parents, but it was time he told her how he really felt. "When my dad decided to be with your mom even though he knew it would ruin my happiness with you, I kind of stopped caring what he thought."

Serena turned to face him. "I, I didn't know you felt that way. I was just so scared about what it would mean for us-their being together."

"I know and I'd be lying if it didn't bother me too. But, mostly I just wanted you and I blamed him for losing you for so long until I realized you were never lost to me."

"And when did you realize that dummy?"

Dan didn't say anything. How could he explain. He couldn't just say that he used Blair because he was angry with her. She'd never get it.

"I think I knew that day when you pretended to be Blair. You were so fiercely protective of me even when I didn't deserve it."

Serena touched his face and smiled. It was hard to believe that a few months could change things so dramatically. But, fall was always the test for them. They were fine in their own bubble, but could they handle the scrutiny of daily life.

Blair had arrived back in New York a few days before Serena did. She was still mad that her friend had left her messages unanswered. The last time they'd gone this long without talking it was when Serena took off to boarding school. She was pretty sure Serena had spent the summer with Dan. The two of them had been off the grid for months and Gossip Girl was absolutely no help. The site had been on hiatus for months. She probably should let go of checking the site now that she was nearly done with college, but some habits were hard to break. The summer had been fabulous. Chuck and her had decided to take things slow, but mostly she felt like her life was finally coming together, but she still felt guilty about things had ended between Dan and herself. She really did value his friendship and the idea of Serena frolicking with her ex burned her just a little bit. Once she was back at her house on fifth avenue, she had Dorota unpack her things as she once again tried to reach Serena. Still no answer. Blair sighed and threw all her energy into organizing her things. She was determined to convince her mother to let her handle the teen line she was planning to launch, but Eleanor Waldorf was not one to let her daughter handle things without a fight. This year was going to be different. Blair was determined to control her destiny. No matter letting fear control her life. She went into full organizational mode using work to help her forget the nagging feeling that her relationship with Dan may have been the reason she'd lost her bestfriend.

Serena and Dan arrived at the loft after a very exhausting flight. They were both confronted with a very uncomfortable scene. Rufus was lying on the floor naked with Ivy wrapped around him. Serena was still so angry at the girl for the stunt she'd pulled a year earlier. Dan on the other hand was just disgusted. They both walked out of the loft and hopped into a taxi.

"Where do we go now?"

"My mothers. She's probably still in Europe anyway,"Serena suggested. Dan merely nodded as he looked out the window. His father had done a number of stupid things, but this had to be a new level of dumb. Why was he messing with that con artist? What had happened to the man that gave him advice and keeping his moral compass? Dan had always veered on the edge of good and bad, but the idea that his father always new the difference between right and wrong always gave him comfort. He had a lot more of his mother in him than he did Rufus. Dan could be duplitious and manipulative, but he certainly wasn't stupid.

Serena grabbed Dan's face and made him look at her. "Talk to me."

"I'm still processing what we saw in there. I just I don't even know who he is anymore. I never thought he'd be stupid enough to get himself involved with someone like Ivy."

Serena laughed, "like father like son."

Dan shook his head, "I'm nothing like him. Plus she was Charlie then and I didn't date her cause I liked her."

Serena crumpled her face in confusion, "then why?"

"To annoy you, but it didn't work cause you couldn't care less,"Dan said with a bitter laugh.

Serena looked at Dan oddly and said, "So, you date my cousin to purposely hurt me. Is that why you were with Blair?"

"Not consciencely. Mostly I was just hurt and so was she and I'd convinced myself it was easier to be with somoene who couldn't really hurt me,"Dan said as he looked at her searching her face to see her reaction.

Serena blinked and tried to process this. "So, you weren't in love with her?"

"We've been through this. No, I wasn't. I just convinced myself that I was. When she left with Chuck I wasn't angry. I felt nothing. Letting her go was the easiest thing I'd ever done. But, with you. You just had this way of making me so angry and yet so happy."

Serena closed her eyes. She wasn't sure what to say. She'd already decided to forgive him, but this was a lot more twisted and calculated then she ever thought Dan was capable of being. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

Dan shrugged. "Anger, Pride a desire to make you pay for hurting me."

"But, you let me go."

"What was I supposed to say. You wanted to be with him for whatever reason and not me,"Dan said with a look of pain in his eyes. They may have both chosen to forgive, but neither had forgotten. The wounds were still fresh despite the love that they both clearly felt for each other.

Serena didn't know what to say. The Ben situation was probably her biggest regret and they'd never talked about it because by the time she was ready to admit she still loved Dan he'd already developed feelings for Blair and she was so busy being hurt by them that she'd forgotten about Ben.

"I never meant to hurt you. It's not that I didn't want to be with you, but I felt responsible for what I'd done to him."

Dan went back to staring out the window. He didn't want to hear her talking about him. But, he knew he was being a hypocrite. He'd been with her bestfriend while the two girls were living together.

"Looks like we wasted a lot of time hurting each other. It's in the past now,"Dan said as he touched her stomache. "We have a whole new future to look forward to together." Serena leaned into him and smiled. She was tired of thinking about all of their mistakes. They had so much to look forward to and so many things to plan. The limo pulled up to her mothers building and she stood on the sidewalk as Dan got their bags out of the car. Serena followed him inside and into the elevator. Once they got upstairs, she found her mother sitting at the table nibbling on a croissant.

"Well, there you are? I've been trying to reach you all summer?"Lily said as she took a sip from her cup. "Hello Daniel."

Dan simply nodded as he watched Serena sit beside her mother and take a piece of her croissant and plop it in her mouth. "I'm sorry. I was with Dan Italy. I thought you'd gotten my email."

"Well, next time, pick up the phone,"Lily said nonchalantly as she smiled smugly at the two of them.

Dan and Serena stared at each other awkwardly. Something was up with her mother that she couldn't quite put her finger on.

"That was stranger. I thought she'd might be angrier,"Dan said. Serena simply shrugged. She was too used to her mothers coldness. The only time that her disappearances seemed to bother her mother was when it reflected badly on her.

"That's my mother. So long as I'm not embarassing her, she couldn't care less."

Dan wrapped his arms around Serena's shoulders and said, "I'm sure she cares in her own way. Distant mothers seem to be our speciality."

"Promise me we won't be like our parents Dan. I really don't want this child to feel anything like we have."

"I promise,"he said as he kissed the top of her head.

"What child?"a shrill voice said from behind them. They turned to see Blair standing there with a shocked look on her face.

Dan swallowed hard, the confrontation they were both hoping to avoid was now playing out right before their eyes. Blair's voice went up an octave higher and said, "What child? What are the two of you talking about?"

Serena blinked and said, "I'm pregnant."

"And who prey tell is the father?"Blair blurted out, immediately regretting her decision. Serena walked up to her and slapped her. Blair held her face to her hand. Dan stood there trying to suppress a giggle despite being the reason for this blow out.

"I can't believe you hit me."

"Why are you here Blair? You have everything you ever wanted. What do you want from me?"Serena said as tears flowed down her face. Dan decided to leave the two of them alone and went into the kitchen to look for something to eat.

"I missed my bestfriend,"Blair said. "look I'm sorry I said that. I was just shocked and a little angry."

Serena shook her head. "Let me guess, you'r going to get mad about Dan and I. Guess what? I'm not sorry. You never loved him and you were never a real friend to me."

"That's not true. I forgave you for Nate and for leaving me when I needed you even though I'd been there to pick you up everytime you were on a bender or got caught up with the wrong guy."

"Look, I know you were there for me when we were kids and I appreciate that, but we're not kids anymore. But, I haven't been on a drunken bender in years. You're great when there is a big mess to clean up, but I'm talking about the day to day kindness that friends owe each other like respect. But, I put up with it because you're like my little sister and I'd do anything for you. But, you used Dan even though you knew how I felt about him and that's much worse than my sleeping with Nate one night when I was drunk, "Serena said. She felt so much better now that she'd let it all out. All the pain and anger she'd kept bottled up was finally out there in the open. Blair stood there silently taking her punishment. She didn't reply with some smart remark.

"You're right. I've been a crappy friend to you this past year,"Blair said as she smoothed her skirt. Swallowing her pride was not something she did easily, but she loved Serena more than she loved her pride.

"Are you apologizing?"

"I wouldn't go that far,"Blair said snarkly. Serena laughed that girly laugh of hers and the two girls hugged.

They sat on the couch and talked honestly for the first time in over a year. "So you and Dan are going to be parents, huh?"

Serena nodded her head and said, "Yes"

"So, we don't have much time to plan this wedding do we?"Blair said immediately going into planning mode.

Serena held up her hand and said, "No! We're not getting married. Atleast not yet."

"I'm going to kill Humphrey. I thought he'd have enough decency to do the right thing. Dan! Where are you, you little weasel!"

Blair marched into the kitchen and saw him standing by the fridge stuffing his face with eclairs. "Ugh, are you always hungry?"

"Blair, don't!"

"Serena, he has some explaining to do. Why the hell aren't you marrying her?This isn't Brooklyn. Serena is not cut out to be a baby mama you idiot."

Dan swallowed his food and looked at the small brunette in confusion. "Calm down. Us not getting married is on her not me. She said no, so don't look at me like that."

Blair looked at Serena like she had snakes coming out of her hair. "I don't understand why would you say no. You're crazy for him and he obviously never got over you so what's the deal?"

"I think that's my cue to go. I've gotta go talk to my dad about this Ivy mess,"Dan said as he kissed Serena goodbye. He left the two girls to talk and for Serena to explain her decision to Blair. It made as much sense to Dan as it did to Blair, but if he had to wait a lifetime for Serena, he would.

"So, explain this to me S,"Blair insisted. "But, first I need an eclair."

She sat down and waited as Serena got one for her from the box dan left by the refridgerator. They sat at the table and Serena explained that after everything that had happened the last few years and with their parents, she wanted to do it right with Dan. So, they were going to have this kid and when it felt right, they'd get married.

"You're crazy. Sometimes I'm surprised that you weren't the one raised on a commune and not Vanessa Abrams."

Serena simply smiled. This day had turned out a lot better than she expected. She had Dan and Blair back and she had a baby on the way. Her life was perfect.

"So, whose going to break this news to your mother,"Blair said. There went her friend shattering her image of the perfect reality.

"I could always let Dan break the news,"Serena said before breaking into a fit of giggles.

When Dan made his way back to the loft, his father was alone and thankfully fully clothed. Dan took a seat at the island. He poured himself of a cup of coffee and said nothing as his father hit him with a barage of questions about his summer.

"So did you finish the book?"Rufus asked as Dan watched him carefully, wondering what had happened to the man that he once wanted to be so much like.

"Almost done. Do you have any food?"He asked his father. Dan wasn't sure where to start. Should he ask him why he was stupid enough to be dating a woman half his age or should he drop the bombshell that he was going to be a grandfather.

"I can make you some waffles although its nearly dinner time. What's your preference chocolate or Belgian?"

Dan looked at him pointedly.

"Sorry, chocolate it is. You're being awful quite about your trip. Was it that uneventful?"Rufus asked.

"No, it was plenty eventful. Just trying to think of what detail to fill you in on first? Should I start with the good new or the bad news?"

Rufus stopped mixing the batter and looked at his son. He seemed happy albeit pensive. There was a sense of calm in his eyes that hadn't been there in a long time like things were finally going right in his world.

"So, what has put the smile on your face? I don't think its your book, so?"

Now or never Humphrey. Just bite the bullet. "I'm back with Serena and she's pregnant." Rufus dropped the bowl of batter on the floor and looked at his son with his eyes popping out of its socket.

"Um, what? Wait I thought you were with Blair? When did that end?"Rufus asked in confusion. It was so hard to keep up with his son's love life mostly because he had been so caught up in his problems with Lily.

Dan took a deep breath. He was really getting tired of trying to explain the Blair situation to everyone that asked.

"That was mistake and now its over."

"So, you and Serena, huh? Are you sure that's such a good idea. Well, nothing to be done about it now that she's pregnant."

Dan clenched and unclenched his hands. The way his father was so dismissive of his feelings for Serena really bothered him. "Well, if it weren't for you, we'd probably have never broken up in the first place, so I'm not here to get advice, but to let you know about the pregnancy."

Rufus looked at son and was taken aback by the edge in his voice. "You blame me?"

"Look dad, I don't really want to rehash the past. Things are as they should be. Serena is not Lily and I'm not you,"Dan said flatly. His father looked at him with a hurt expression on his face.

"What is that supposed to mean?"Rufus said defensively.

"It means I know about you and Ivy and it just adds to the list of ridiculous decisions you've made in the last few years."

Rufus took a deep breath. "My love life is none of your business, Dan."

Dan held up his hands. "Don't get me wrong. I don't really care who you sleep with so long as it doesn't get in the way of my relationship with Serena."

"I see. So, what are your plans? Marriage? Living Together?"

Dan hopped off the stool and said, "For now, living together. But, we're both in it for the long haul. We just don't want to make the same mistakes that you and Lily did. I am not trying to hurt you dad, but you guys gave up too easily and by the time you found your way back, you'd both evolved into different people. We don't want to have a bunch of marriages are belt; just one."

Rufus swallowed his pride and hugged his son. "I hope it works out for you. I really do. It's just women like that they're difficult to handle."

"I know what I'm getting myself into; I've always known,"Dan said before leaving the loft.

Serena's conversation with Lily wasn't nearly as difficult as the one Dan had with his father. Lily was drinking her favorite scotch as she flipped through a magazine when Serena approached her. She sat down next to her mother and smiled at her. Lily gave her questioning look.

"There's something I need to tell you, mom. But, you have to promise not to get angry."

Lily put down her magazine and straightened her back. She went into immediate damage control mentality as what her daughter was bound to tell her was bad. "What did you do and how much will it cost to fix it?"

"I didn't do anything that I want you to fix,"Serena said as she bit on her lower lip. "I'm pregnant."

Lily closed her eyes and took a deep breath. History was repeating herself and it was the last thing that she wanted for her daughter. "Dan?"

Serena shook her head, but instead of a look of fear on her face, Lily saw joy. She smiled and said, "Well, that's good news. So, we have a lot of arrangements to make to get you down the aisle before you start showing."

"No! I'm not getting married not yet. Dan and I talked about it. We're going to have this baby and well marriage will come later."

Lily took a deep breath and tried not to lose her temper. She just imagined all the sly looks and whispers behind her back. "This is a bad idea. What will people think?"Lily said as she massaged her temples.

"I don't really care and neither does Dan. It's my life and I'm not going to live it by the standards of a bunch of uptight society matrons who have probably done more hash then I have."

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Can I ask why? You love him and I can't imagine that he doesn't want to marry you especially now."

"I don't want to get married because of the baby and that would be the only reason to rush into a marriage at this point. I want to marry Dan because its the right time. I don't want to do this too quickly and end up divorced. We're in this for the long haul and I'm determined to do things right this time,"Serena said as she pushed the hair from her eyes.

Lily looked at her daughter and in her eyes she saw a maturity that she lacked at her age. She was being sensible.

The one thing she regretted in life was letting her own mother railroad her into decisions that she couldn't take back years later. "I understand and no, I'm not angry. What can I do to help?"

"Help us find an apartment?"Serena asked.

"Done. We'll start apartment hunting tomorrrow. I suppose Dan is with Rufus,"asked Lily.

"Yes. He should be back soon."

Nate was hunched over his keyboard editing a piece when Dan walked in. Nate looked up and said, "Hi, Bro. What's going on?"

"Nothing much. Just got back from Italy this morning."

Nate leaned back in his chair and smiled at him. "I see you two finally stopped fucking around and got your shit together."

"Blair told you?"Dan asked. Nate nodded his head and Dan took out a manilla envelope. "That's not why I'm here. I have something for you."

He opened the envelope and glanced at the first paragraph. Nate looked at his friend with his jaw dropped. "You are Gossip Girl?"

Dan nodded and said, "And I want you to break the story. It's all there, the whole dirty deal."

Nate tried to wrap his mind around the fact that his friend Dan Humphrey was the infamous Gossip Girl. "So back at graduation, I was right,"he said with laughter.

"You've always been smarter than you look Nate.

Dan's next move was to tell Serena which wasn't going to be easy and could possibly end his relationship, but he had a copy of the story ready for her to read. She needed to understand the whole thing and why he decided to do what he did. The site was not about ruining lives or being famous, but about her and making sure that he would have her no matter what. But, after everything that happened in the last year, he wasn't sure if she'd understand. He finally made it back to the Van Der Woodsen's apartment and went into Serena's bedroom. She was wearing a pair of silk shorts and matching pajama top that made him think dirty thoughts. She smiled up at him from her magazine. "You're home. How did it go?"

"Okay. A little rough. Dad was just being dad. How did it go with your mom?"

"Surprisngly well. What do you have behind your back?"Serena asked. Her curiousity was peeked, but the serious look on his face made her take pause.

"There's something I want you to read, but before you read it I just want you to know that I love you and I totally understand if you don't want to have anything to do with me ever again."

Serena looked at him softly and touched his face. "Let me read it."

He stood staring out her window as she read the story not once, but several times. Her silence was unnerving and he wasn't sure what she'd say or if he'd completely blown every chance of being with her. After an hour, she finally said something, "So, it was you this entire time?"

"Yes, I didn't think it would ever become such a monster and it wasn't too hurt you. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you."

"But, I don't understand. You didn't need to do it. I loved you anyway,"Serena said

He sat beside her on the bed and said, "It wasn't about you just loving me, but about becoming a part of your world so that I wouldn't become that story you told your friends in twenty year about the poor kid from Brooklyn you once dated."

"You're not poor Dan. You've got a lot of money,"she said.

"Not anymore. But, there was a time when my family could barely pay the rent. You weren't going to leave this world, so I had to somehow become a part of it. Convince everyone that Dan Humphrey—Lonely Boy was worthy."

Serena ran a finger through her head. "So, all of this was for me."

"Yes. Let's be real if it weren't for you there'd be no Gossip Girl. You were my star-my muse even back then."

She punched his chest. "Dan Humphrey you are an idiot. This was all so unnecessary. I'd have left that world in a heartbeat for you."

"But, not Blair."

Serena looked at him softly, "that's where you have it wrong. I'd leave it all behind for you. So, what are you going to do with this story?"

"I gave it to Nate. He's going to publish it in the spectator and it will probably change his life. All I care about is what you think."

"I think what you did was a little weird, but very flattering. Completely unnecessary, but still flattering."

Dan took a deep breath. "I know it was obsessive, but that's what you do to me. I can't quit you."

Serena grabbed him by his collar and kissed him until she stopped breathing. Once they separated she said, "I can't quit you either."

"So, I'm forgiven?"he asked with a smirk on his face.

She smiled and said, "Yes, you manipulative bastard. You're forgiven."


End file.
